Started back into my own structured program this week. Monday morning was first session I've done in 2 weeks not feeling like I have sand bags on my back.
2 weeks Illness was 1 week complete lay away and 2nd week started ticking some swim bike and run over but really felt like my energy was konked.
I think back and look at it as needed rest as before the down time I was really pushing the routine hard and with a lot on my plate it was becoming increasingly a struggle to keep up.
A good chance to reset on all things.
In the second week I found myself feeling very lost - In absolutely everything. Usual fire and drive was just missing and I felt numb where I usually felt alive. Quite scary - I just made sure that I gave the system some exercise and also identified what my goals were - purpose and in perspective to this new phase of life - eg new location and career objectives. Sounds deep but lose your perspective and you bloody well lose your marbles. I'm aware of that feeling so just acknowledging it and working through it without labelling it is important.
So HUNGRY for a compelling goal thats not too far down the track but gives me a chance to work a decent prep to give it credit.
I keep moving the goals posts slightly because I want the kick to go straight through the middle. So the goals list - Lining up with season goals set back in March. I want to rock up having improved not regressed. The blessing and curse of perfectionist traits. And in the next breath - Its the fear of not wanting to look like a bozo - Mainly to myself and what I expect to b able to achieve. Anyone can relate that they want the 'work' put in to 'work' and sometimes you have to just trust it, do it and let it happen.
- December - Kingscliff Olympic
- Janurary - Robina Olympic
- Feb - Hell of the West
- March - Mooloolabah Olympic
4 times I have to really get up. I may place slightly let weight on a couple. see how it pans.
So the weekend was the start of punching down a few things in a new journal and getting the head space right.
I think without a doubt if you want to make progress you have to look at what rubbish you need to delete from your head and also look at ways you can stretch limitations.
I was reading about characteristics of an Eagle yesterday and interestingly one of them was that when the birds feathers die it goes away and grows new ones - A metamorphosis. I think thats a good way to look at change and 'hibernation periods' albeit lets keep them short as bloody possible, morbidity sucks.
So moving forward
A few tweaks in training approach just for the mental refresh and adding specific little things that force subtle adaptions and break comfort.
Really grateful to feel myself and have energy back!
On the charge.